A MEASURE OF MY DAYS: The Journal of a Country Doctor

#### A MEASURE OF MY DAYS: The Journal of a Country Doctor. By David Loxterkamp. University Press of New England. 336 pp. $24.95

Literature it may not be, but this book is something equally valid: the honest self-portrait of a small-town family doctor trying to do as much good in the world as he can. Earnest, kindhearted, subject to depression and guilt, and above all pious, Loxterkamp seeks and finds in the daily tending of the sick a path to holiness. If there is an overarching point of view, it is that of a devout Roman Catholic whose every act is lent significance by the immediate presence of God.

The language is mercifully simple, devoid of pomp and authorial vanity. It has the scrubbed, plain texture of the monastic cell at the Trappisarium of Gethsemane, where Loxterkamp retreats in emulation of his idol, Thomas Merton. Of course, in keeping this journal, Loxterkamp has chosen to put himself on view, taking the risk that every diarist takes, of now and then becoming the sly trumpeter of his own praises. No doubt this book will be embraced by physicians and others who see themselves living blamelessly in an otherwise imperfect world. Yet it is greatly to Loxterkamp’s credit that the reader feels a bond with this forbearing, forgiving, sorely beset man; he is the kind of doctor we all want for ourselves.

Loxterkamp is at his best when offering clinical vignettes and miniature character sketches of his patients, coworkers, and fellow townspeople. One especially affecting portrait is of a woman with Lou Gehrig’s disease trying to communicate: "Her struggle, nodding and grunting at a plexiglass message board. . . . Two letters constructed, then three; a word, then another, till they strung together in a simple phrase."

Only when Loxterkamp’s gaze turns inward toward his own marriage do candor and empathy threaten to stray into confession and sentimentality. And when he vents his disapproval of certain post-Vatican II changes in the Catholic liturgy, he merely echoes criticism that has been better articulated elsewhere. Other faults may lie herein, but none would prevent me from recommending this book as a gift to any prospective doctor.

—Richard Selzer